Friday, March 20, 2015

36 weeks pregnant

So how am I feeling? Good overall. I get pressure down low like I have to use the bathroom but never have to and that makes me think I may be starting labor soon but I know the chances of that happening is slim to none. Plus honestly I want her to stay in until exactly 40 weeks.

I'm looking forward to eating rice and waffles and....subs again when she's here. I don't really have bad Braxton hicks. My appetite has decreased over the last two weeks.

I went to the birthing center and found out my midwives last day was when I was there so I need to meet the other midwifes. I was fairly upset about that. I've only bonded with her. Either way there isn't anything I can do about that but be positive so that's what I'm doing. Madison is measuring 2 weeks behind.  Kinda worries me but the midwife said she was measuring perfectly and I gained 5 lbs so I don't know. She moves like crazy. A lot of the time it's pretty uncomfortable.

I've been craving sweets. Mainly brownies and im not even going to say how many brownies I've had recently.

Wednesday, February 18, 2015


So ice started working on some of the projects I have for Madison.  Lace crowns and a holder for her bows and hair ties :) I'm super excited to see how they turn out. My first time doing anything crafty without guidance so we shall see. I still want to make her some photo props and set up the guest bedroom for a bunch of shoots. I'll take pictures when that is done. So excited :)

Sunday, February 15, 2015

Day 3

It's an hour before Calebs bedtime and we are accident free! I'm hoping he makes it until bedtime and wakes up dry. That would be huge progress or a fluke. Either way I would be happy.  I'm so proud of my baby.

Saturday, February 14, 2015

Potty training

So caleb is 19 months. Yesterday was the first time I started taking him out in public without a diaper. Of course we didn't have any accidents but when the babysitter watched him for 4 hrs he pee'd on himself twice.
Today he pooped on the floor. I knew it was coming because he went to his poop spot but I could get off the floor fast enough to get to him (pregnant and fat issues) he also pee'd on himself a lot today. As if he was on potty strike which I don't get. Sometimes he loves it will get on go pee clap dance and cheer other times he acts like he has no idea what it is. I'm hoping tomorrow will be better. He woke up dry this morning and didn't pee on himself during his nap. I do put diapers on him at night but not during naps.
Tomorrow will be day 3 without diapers. I bought a potty cushion thing and step stool for his bathroom.  I want him to get t use to being around a big potty even though he's to small for it.

I honestly just don't think he wants to be out and about using the potty.  Doesn't have a problem with it at home but WON'T use it in public.  Either way I don't get upset with him or say no. I just say pee pee in potty not pants. Needless to say at night time he's very excited to see his diaper which leads me to believe that potty training is kinda stressful or a lot of work to him. I might incorporate. ..even though I don't want to treats or stickers.

Tuesday, January 13, 2015

Don't know what to think..

I am absolutely terrified of having another child. I am afraid for Caleb and my sanity. Up until now it has been me and him. He is super affectionate and clingy. I know he isn't going to like when there is another baby in the picture. I know that im going to feel horrible about not being able to give him the same amount of attention. I already do feel horrible. It keeps me up at night, I worry all day about how hes going to feel and react it's stressing me out. I feel like my life is nothing but stress right now. When I do try to get out the house to get my mind off things either my "friends" cancel they always just cancel. Its frustrating. I dont know what to do. I can't talk to my midwife about my inability to sleep and the nightmares and the constant anxiety. Will would never understand....honestly I cant think of anyone who can understand. All my friends are pregnant or have one child or the second child is from another mother. The only person I can kind of think to talk to about it is my sister in law but everything told to any of the Shields spreads like wild fire and I dont feel like being judged. I need a break...from my mind. I need to focus on the positive but no matter what all I can think about is Calebs traumatic delivery, another alien being plopped on me after hours of labor, me having no emotion for that child...just fear. Fear of having to do it alone. Fear of Caleb feeling neglected. Fear of not knowing who I am anymore...not feeling like a person just a servant that gets no break, no recognition, no anything. I dont want to have another child. I didnt ask for this. I want Caleb to be happy and to have a life...the closer I get to April the more I feel like im losing it and I dont know what to do.

Thursday, January 8, 2015

26 weeks

So I  messed up on eating healthy today. I had a pb & jelly sandwich on potatoe bread and had a package of belvitas. For breakfast I had brown sugar oatmeal and for lunch I had a salad with to much dressing :/ I need to go to the gym. Just waiting for caleb to wake up. I weigh 131 which is awesome considering last week I was 136. I want to get down to 128 and hold that for a while. We will see what happens.
Madison is super active.  Like crazy active I wasn't expecting her to move this much so soon.
I started having round ligament pain and leg cramps. I'm hoping that the round ligament pain doesn't get crazy bad. I have been doing awesome with working out. I average 4 miles (450 calories) on the elliptical a day and 30 minutes of weight lifting.  I'm still lifting with 45 lbs on squats and 210 for leg press. Arms usually 30-50 machine assisted, 10-15 free weights.
I got my first pedicure ever last Sunday.  It looks so nice. I see why people are so addicted to them. I'm going to try to get one every month until she's born. I also got my eyebrows done finally.  It was a really nice relaxing day.

Thursday, December 25, 2014

24 weeks, Merry Christmas!!

Soooo baby Madison is moving like crazy. According to my app she is 11.8 inches and a little over a pound. Wills grandparents came and stayed with us. Im so glad they got to come. It was such a good time. We cooked, ate, laughed and relaxed. I got some me time was able to do my nails and hair. Gma cooked and Caleb was smothered with attention. Everyone came over for Christmas and that went as smoothly as humanly possible. It was a good time filled with food, desserts, christmas music and good times. I feel gross. I think its the sparkling apple cider but my stomachs been upset pretty much all day. Nonetheless its time for pictures!